First.
Not the score, but first entry in more than one year.
Not going to be long.
Small update to myself: you arrived to hang around and work a little in this big noisy city and you remained. For how long? I don’t know. Do you know? Nope, you don’t too.
One year. Not so much. But in terms of what? For you it’s been a whole big life.

Just few minor updates:
- I’m alive and kicking’
- We are freezing in here with daily temperatures below -20*C
- I’m moving for short life in Moscow next Friday
- Inspite of gazillion things to do I learned to find time to meet friends and to read daily
- I managed to lose my credit card. For the first time in my life! Must have been frost…
- I have my life planned daily until April.
- I hope to find a will for more major updates ;)

Seems like times of deep winter “all I want is sleep” condition go away slowly!
I did a lot of useful things today, including spending credit card money:) but what the heck! It made me happy!
I just wanted to mention, that I may disappear for a while due to hard study/work/life events which will happen mostly in February. Wish me good luck, I will need it.
Dear blog, do not miss me much, I will return I promise!

First I chose categories and only then imagined what to blog about. But it’s just a side thought.
I catches myself on that I’m trying to find a reason, motivation and a wish to go on. I tried to imagine what’s gonna come out of 2012. And it seems like I have lots to do this year.
Sure I will never open up all my plans here. Not because I’m greedy, but as you know – the less you talk about plans, the more chances they have to be released.

I’m sure of few less important things: fight addiction to the social networks, read more books, stop staying up all night for silly reasons, unless it’s a ‘lovemaking’ or ‘bookreading’. Travel more and surely ask for salary rise…but it’s another story not deserving to be discussed. To catch up with all my friends, who probably deleted my phone number and forgot what I look like. Job and life spinning around don’t always let me be as flexible as I have been before.

And I can’t decide wether to buy a car or not. Oh well...

Big hello to me from the 2nd (actually already 3rd as I’m writing this) day of 2012.
Not to be a ranter, but searching for a little sympathy, I worked on the 1st of Jan.  I definitely do not deserve a golden medal, but so to speak – it was hard. Head ached and hands refused to operate under mind commands. Spent the whole day in coma-after-new-years-eve. I did not party that hard, but it was enough.
I’m not setting any new years resolutions to be honest. Shame to say, but not many of the last years’ came true. Not that I’m being so lazy (..I am), but maybe because they were a little bit unrealistic I suppose. I am being honest now with myself. I just wish 2012 not to be the last year in my life (Oscar goes to the civilization Maya). Otherwise I will have no time for all my dreams to come true.:)

I saw a nightmare last night about one of my plans being ruined. I got up crying. As in seriously! So, I decided it’s never going to happen and I will make it.
By the way, I noticed that my memory is bad handling events for the whole year. I mean, I tried to reckon how I spent several previous new years’ eves..and I can’t! Plus for some reason, such months as January-March usually never filled in with exciting stories, but I still think they deserve to be memorised. So I guess I’m going to capture them this time ;)

 Happy New Year everybody and I hope 2012 brings you all you want and wish for.

Let it be a good year:)

I guess it is exactly the time when everybody or almost everybody tries to sum up the results of their life in 2011. Honestly? I cannot even remember most of events since the beginning of the year. My memory cannot really keep so many great and not so great things in my life. So I refuse to make any global conclusions this year. I can say for sure that it was a good one. With its ups and downs, falls and rises…it wouldn’t be me otherwise;)

Nothing has changed extraordinary for me. Every year I’m waiting for miracles to happen. But perhaps I must be thankful, because no miracles happen but many plans come to life. Can everybody state so? I doubt that.

For the first time I find it hard to remember even all my trips. I think it was Vienna few times again. It was Barcelona, Munic, Venice, Udine, Frankfurt and … And that’s it I think, but I’m not quite sure;) Two Bon Jovi gigs in one year!!!! Man, can I be happy more???? I don’t think so.

I changed job. Not very different comparing to my old one, but I’m happy enough now. I’m legal, official, settled, trained, even in the uniform…;) Thanks to my job, I spent two super cool weeks in Seeheim and I made friends. They are unique and great people who I secretly dream to meet again someday in my life.

Some people left my life this year and some new arrived. I made mistakes, I loved, I cried, I failed, I succeed and despite all that I continued my way through mistakes, falls and tries. I’ll never stop being happy and so grateful to my friends. I thank God, literally, for given me them. It took few good years to know who’s really worth it. You guys, are the best I have in my life. Guys come and go, friends remain;) thank you for all your support, free ears, helpful hand, a shoulder to cry on, a company to dance, to drink, to laugh, to do stupid crazy, lovely things. You’re the best!

Sounds a little like Oscar:))

I have million and one serious and not so serious plans for the new year. It’s time to move on, grow wiser and continue my way.

I wish a very Happy and prosperous New Year to everybody. Let it be good to you, kind and gentle. I wish happiness and love. Everything will be great, no matter what.

It should be definitely much easier to return to normal state of being. Obviously not for me. I keep on going to bed at abnormal time which is around 3am each day and consequently I get up at noon. Jet-lagged? I mean, I’ve been through worse when I visited an upside down hemisphere. But seems like I’m getting older and loosing my grip in comprehending time differences. I lived in a different time zone for just two weeks and three hours difference. Oh come on. It must be wintertime too.
But what I was going to say is that it’s something like two weeks until new years eve. I’m not prepared. I have gifts bought none and ideas in my head are also zero. Work will occupy all of my time with a happy not perspective of having zero new year-Christmas holidays. If for some reason I am not appearing here until 2012- Merry Christmas and a very Happy New Year everybody:)
Considering work on the 1st of January, I still hope to spend a nice night with my family and a lovely Christmas with dear people. I will also support Christmas spirit and moods of everybody who celebrate it in December.
But…let’s be more optimistic, I will update here later;)))

I am home. I returned yesterday, after two magic weeks in Seeheim. All was great, except that the place lacked normal internet access, so I could not update here.
Oh…I have no idea if I am able to describe everything! It would take me few days and many posts. I am a little upset, because it all finished so fast, but I am also so happy, that it happened to me.
I will come back…soon ;)

Girls, don’t experiment with hair just before any important event you may have. As a result of my “experiments” I look like 13 years old now:) Not exactly sure how to look representative next week before trainers and my colleagues from all over the world…
Funny story, If this happened to me just not so long ago- I would be depressed for a long time. Now to be honest it doesn’t bother me that much and surely makes me a much happier person. I guess I finally grew up to understand that this can’t be the worst reason to be upset about.

I am not really sure what I am doing, but I am sure I want to change everything.

I installed WordPress on my iPad and hopefully will be able to update more frequently the next couple of weeks. I’m not going to have any sort of vacation, work and study instead, but an idea of writing “travel” notes is seductive.
This one is very nice tool, which even enables me to post like this and even like this. Yay.

When it’s grey and not cosy outside and inside, I always remember all those gorgeous and wonderful days if summer. Truly helps me to live through the unpleasant day.

Naturally I hate being alone. I need friends, family, or even my cat to be around if not always, but definitely most of the time. Although sometimes I demand peace and loneliness. This is the time. Most of my friends hate me and my family, including my cat, trying to teach me how to live. So this is where I want to build a great wall in order not to feel what I feel. Escape. In 2 weeks I’ll be gone abroad for full 14 days. I know I’m going to be badly homesick at first, but then I will slowly realise that I finally ran away.

I know, this looks like a very bad excuse. I have a schedule, which literally excludes any attemts for outdoor fun and even a private life. Did it deliberately. Friends do not return my calls and potential friends hate me never ever even being in face to face contact with me.

Escape. I want to escape.

The more I attend English classes, the more I speak German in my mind.
Ohne dich kann ich nicht sein
Ohne dich
Mit dir bin ich auch allein
Ohne dich
Ohne dich zähl ich die Stunden ohne dich
Mit dir stehen die Sekunden
Lohnen nicht ohne dich

Suddenly and rather pleasantly I realised that I do love this life. It doesn’t matter anymore wether there somebody special exists in my life or if it is just a morning cup of Viennese coffee with milk. Beautiful feeling to enjoy and be happy with what you’ve got. Live the moment. Feel it. Make it special every single day. Despite the fact that the weather is pretty crapy this time of year, I still catch every joy of the day. It is a lovely come back to life. After so much pain in it, it feels like a birthday. It makes me truly happy to live through the day. I open my eyes and feel alive. The very forgotten feeling lately. And for once in my life – it doesn’t depend on anybody. I seem to overcome this feature of getting used to be happy only when special people surround me. Losing them so many times created a fragile, but still a shell on my skin. I never forget them and given a chance would say that I forgave and let go.
Not rambling  a lot, I think I am going to improve and return to photography and maybe painting. The last work I started more than 3 years ago. It was meant to be a birthday gift for one special person. But I never managed to finish it, because I didn’t feel like he would ever see it. And so it never happened. Now I would like to continue my work on it. It should finally take its place in a beautiful frame. And maybe I will be courageous enough and send it to its initial potential owner. Or maybe it is better not to “touch” the past. I will think of it.
And of course I have a global life plans for the nearest year. Whole year! The very first time they also do not include anybody, but me myself and I. Selfish you may think, but in my case it is rather useful, believe me. I know exactly what I want, where I am going and how it should be achieved. I am satisfied like a purring cat on a lap. I don’t know if this is going to work out, but at least I will know I tried.

Wake me up when September ends – a classic to me to say when 1st of September comes.

I for some reason always count September as kind of a transition period to something new. At some point of view-waiting for new things and events to happen in life is great. Worse would be not to wait for anything.

The summer of  2011 was good. It was so alive and crazy that somebody else would only dream of it. Unforgettable night and days in Frankfurt, in Vienna, in Barcelona, in Munich, in Venice, in Udine… Summer with my friends and Bon Jovi. Summer to remember. I did my usual thing: I loved, I laughed, I fell out of love, I cried, I lived all over again, I smiled to my summer of 2011. I said good bye and I’m looking forward to the life ahead ;)

New haircut, new job, new people, a cookbook!!! Some educational process and new opportunities.

Hey, and it’s only been few days since Summer finished :)

Heavy air, complicated mind, a lot to realise and to think about. Hopefully I will not close in myself. It’s hard again. But perhaps making me stronger…once again.
Baby, don’t cry. You’re learning to fly…

All I do is travel.

When I don’t travel – I think of  doing it. When I don’t think of doing it – I want it. I feel very bad if I know I’m not to fly away anywhere anytime soon. It’s an addiction. And if someday I’m cut off from all the opportunities – it’s gonna hurt.

I forgot when was the last time I got me anything nice in the clothing shop or beauty store…or even Apple store:)

I surely belong to somewhere else…

Munich 14.06.2011

Man, I’ve fallen in love with this city…