Learning how to fall

I wish Spring will come sooner rather than later. Seriously. So tired from this grey, wet and short-day living. Muddy and icy.

Brr.

I saw a dream last night that Frankfurt-am-Main is occupied by aliens and only few people left alive, hiding somewhere underground. Including me. Scary. Especially when you wake up sweating at 5am and can no longer get sleep. You hear every single move and listen to your own heartbeats. But anyway, the result of it: bad day, bad mood, lack of rest, life sucks in general:)

My mum saw a sign in my dream: so it means you don’t go to Frankfurt. Pfff.

Summer, please come sooner…

How soon is February?

On Tuesday.

…tuesday plus 22 days!

Can’t wait, can’t wait, can’t wait…

Have I said I can’t wait?

Well – I can’t :)

I don’t think I have ever felt myself that free, easy, light, naughty, cute, strong, fresh, sensual…

Feels like I could fly.

Had an evening full of million emotions.

Remembered suddenly a saying: my past called me, but I hung up and went to kiss my present :)

On the other hand I’m trying to recover my inner self. I know that these days it’s hidden somewhere deep inside of me. I’m smiling and dancing, playing and fooling around, cheering and laughing… But real me can’t find peace. I don’t think it will ever do actually!

Let’s go all the way tonight
No regrets, just love
We can dance until we die
You and I
We’ll be young forever

That’s about me since August 2010 :)

I’m so afraid to get used to my life without ever thinking “what if?”. I like it like it is today. It doesn’t make me truly happy, but it’s like a painkiller. And I keep going on.

p.s.: my web site name expires in February and I bloody can’t find a log in and password to the host!!! AAAA!

Feels like somebody is turning into a maneater. Who would have thought! Haven’t decided yet wether it’s a good or bad thing. But I think it’s just probably a part of having the time of my life. Oh I like it!!!

Well-known that I’ve got a handbags fetish. I can’t help it but I always return from a trip with a new bag.

Now I think I’m close to have a t-shirt madness too. Hold on, Summer! I’m coming:)

I have never been TV dependant or even very much into any series. But I must say this guys rocked my evenings. And me writing about such thing proves my total addiction. Can’t wait for the next episodes and new songs.

Borders of my laziness know no limits. I started to write a big post about 2010, and about what have happened then…but it was never posted. And never will be.

I started 2011 full of hopes and dreams.

Again.

I must say that 2010 was in general very good to me. I got to travel quite a lot, I was in and out of love, I laughed so hard that I cried and I cried so hard that later it made me laugh. I met very special people and now I am totally addicted to them and want to meet them again and more often. You know who you’re ;)

As for this year-so it’s simple just like 1-2-3 (kinderleicht). More travelling to be done, more fun to have, more people to meet, more goals to achieve. Ordinary dreams of an ordinary girl.

Oh yeah..it’s gonna be my 25 Bday! Excited and plan a trip somewhere special with somebody special. Hope it’s gonna work out.

Hello, 2011!

We are going to ROCK this year ;)

-7 today. Welcome into Winter season!

I’m not prepared. Yet. Brrr.

Snow, rain, ice, snow, ice, wind..all the winter pleasures are presented out there.

Autumn. Gorgeous autumn! Warm, sunny, friendly, lovely, peaceful.

Sweet October. Sensual, wild, crazy, fast!

Head is full of positive. Changes…they come to everybody. They come to me. Nothing extra ordinary. Just probably getting older, wiser and better!

Love autumn in Berlin….

Mega summer it was.

Full of love, tears, laughter, broken hearts, travels, friends, work, sun…

I will miss it badly.

Vienna, Paris, Bon Jovi concert, my Frienda (<3), Nice, St.Tropez, a bit of Italy, Frankfurt, Waynes bar, dancing on a table, sweating, getting very tipsy in American bar, fainting on a concert, crying from happiness, crying from sadness, talking, laughing, walking, walking, walking, smiling, taking million photos, sunbathing, swimming with huge jellyfish, crazy trips to Vienna, amazing hours in Frankfurt, meeting a great person, meeting random COOL people, drinking a lot, sleeping very little, working hard earning money for new fun, burning under the really hot sun…

A summer to remember.

Good to remember you have a blog…just once in a while:)

Life goes on. Strangely.

Sometimes I’m trying to understand, how many more times I must fall and get up on the way…way out, out of circle. So I guess my blog will live forever. Unless I stop paying for hosting or will learn not to fall anymore. Which is absolutely impossible during our lifetime.

Probably letting go of  the past is useful. But it’s so hard.

Sometimes I wonder if I ever meant anything in life of those people who left me. Probably not much. I don’t think you remember in details what I look like. Maybe you even forgot when is my birthday. I think you don’t think of me at all, actually. Because you will never ever call my name again, because you’re gone.

But it’s just I can never forget what I used to love so much.

Anyway, I’m just thinking so much. As usually :)

You can spend, minutes, hours, days, weeks or even months over-analyzing a situation; trying to put the pieces together, justifying what could’ve, would’ve happened – or you can just leave the pieces on the floor and move the f*ck on!

Unbelievable, but I’m on vacation at last!

Have been waiting for it for so long. It’s going to be a cool one. Some adventures, some love, some happiness…Paris, Vienna. Life is good.

Oh, and I adore viennese parks!!

Never give your credit card details to the suspicious sources! That’s the thing every clever person knows. Not me obviously. Result: less than 10 euro balance.

Don’t know what to do… Probably make a scandal. But at this hour for some reason my brain doesn’t work. Ah!

I’m there…almost ;)

I see..everything differently. Such a strange feeling. It’s like I got different eyes. Or different vision. Now everything is not like it used to be before. And I like it.

It sounds so peaceful. It sounds so comfortable, warm. Words can’t describe the feeling. I think finally my reality is a bit better than my dreams. Although one thing is missing, but there’re hopes and prayers for that. And for some reason I believe things will be good. They are good already.

I just love how my feelings sound. I love how my perception of the world works. It will always be like that: comfortable, warm, stable, beautiful, peaceful, harmonic, real, worth living.

Sunday was Easter’y. It was nice, light, bright, warm, sunny, kind and just an awesome day. We baked Easter cakes and we ate many eggs.

Meanwhile the world is going crazy over Apple’s toy “iPad”, I was just enjoying a quiet day off. I must say Ikea today was half-empty…so was my credit card, after visiting it. I bought cute flower vase, and 3 boxes to organise my room space.

And I miss travelling… I left my heart somewhere there. Not here, for sure. I don’t know where yet. I’ll find the right place someday. I will do.

I want to re-design my bedroom. Badly.