Learning how to fall

First I chose categories and only then imagined what to blog about. But it’s just a side thought.
I catches myself on that I’m trying to find a reason, motivation and a wish to go on. I tried to imagine what’s gonna come out of 2012. And it seems like I have lots to do this year.
Sure I will never open up all my plans here. Not because I’m greedy, but as you know – the less you talk about plans, the more chances they have to be released.

I’m sure of few less important things: fight addiction to the social networks, read more books, stop staying up all night for silly reasons, unless it’s a ‘lovemaking’ or ‘bookreading’. Travel more and surely ask for salary rise…but it’s another story not deserving to be discussed. To catch up with all my friends, who probably deleted my phone number and forgot what I look like. Job and life spinning around don’t always let me be as flexible as I have been before.

And I can’t decide wether to buy a car or not. Oh well...

It should be definitely much easier to return to normal state of being. Obviously not for me. I keep on going to bed at abnormal time which is around 3am each day and consequently I get up at noon. Jet-lagged? I mean, I’ve been through worse when I visited an upside down hemisphere. But seems like I’m getting older and loosing my grip in comprehending time differences. I lived in a different time zone for just two weeks and three hours difference. Oh come on. It must be wintertime too.
But what I was going to say is that it’s something like two weeks until new years eve. I’m not prepared. I have gifts bought none and ideas in my head are also zero. Work will occupy all of my time with a happy not perspective of having zero new year-Christmas holidays. If for some reason I am not appearing here until 2012- Merry Christmas and a very Happy New Year everybody:)
Considering work on the 1st of January, I still hope to spend a nice night with my family and a lovely Christmas with dear people. I will also support Christmas spirit and moods of everybody who celebrate it in December.
But…let’s be more optimistic, I will update here later;)))

I am home. I returned yesterday, after two magic weeks in Seeheim. All was great, except that the place lacked normal internet access, so I could not update here.
Oh…I have no idea if I am able to describe everything! It would take me few days and many posts. I am a little upset, because it all finished so fast, but I am also so happy, that it happened to me.
I will come back…soon ;)

I got up insanely early for me today, which is 7 a.m. Yes, that is early, considering I’m used for 9 a.m. time. I feel like I’m still not entirely awaken. It was done for one important purpose: to take the test. Not saying what for and why. But I needed an empty office, quiet enviroment, concentration and time. Can’t say I got it all. But I spent the most schizophrenic 2 hours of tests in my life. Currently my brain is in doubts about my IQ level. I’m not sure who is able to solve given test, being remotely sane and adequate actually.

But that was just an introduction to the post about how to relax after such a crazy day. In fact I lost my initial thoughts for the post, because this day just kicked me off from my usual daily routine and harmony.

I’m drinking tea and listening to soft music all over again.

I have an important day tomorrow and I need to distress somehow.

It includes a lot of nice soft music, warm tea, positive thinking and dreaming.

Nice evening. Especially since I treat mysef with chocolate muffin. Mmm.

I know, I know… Supposed to update it more often. Hopefully, my March entries won’t be limited to two.

I’ve been having some tough time over here. Nope, everything is fine. And I haven’t disappeared – I’m just working. New job=new life.

Good news is that Spring seems to finally visit our forgotten place. +14 for tomorrow sounds promising!

I’ m not very talkative at 00.55, so to speak, I guess I’ll leave some fantasy till the next time I’m here. Hopefully it’s going to be sooner, than March finishes=)

Ah…yes, three postcards in my box! Yay!

The very first day of March brought some happiness into my life:

* I’ve got some job-wise improvements. Actually big improvements!

* It’s officially the 1st day of Spring here!!! No more snow, freez and winter!!

* Couldn’t ever imagine how one random postcard can make me happy!

I haven’t received any official cards yet, but I’ve already got a reply card from one of my “addresses”. I’m so happy!

I have never had such a strong feeling. I want to run away from here. To move, to escape, to disappear. Just need to be out of here. Permanently. I think I’m being tired from this place, people, weather, job, lifestyle. I try to build my happiness on my own. But it never works out that smoothly.

And nightmares still don’t let me forget. I wake up, and there’s pain again.

But this is me whining again :)

I’m actually having a hard day tomorrow. The day when my destiny regarding  job will be resolved. After tomorrow I will more or less know what I’ll do further and where I’m going to be (geographically too).

~*~

Always promise myself to go to bed earlier! I curse myself by mornings for not switching myself off at midnight at least.

Seems like I’m an insomnia sufferer too :(

{photo from here}